Notes from rehab – day 4

This is part of a series I’m writing while in a self-imposed digital detox program. I’ve struggled with attention span, and lack of direction (or rather too many directions at once). These are my actual journal entries.

Observations from digital rehab: day 4

My thoughts have returned to me.

I didn’t realize they were gone until I went on this regimen: When I force myself to just sit – just BE – without stimulus, my brain begins to work after awhile.

It’s slow and painstaking…. actually painful at times. I’m not kidding. My mind has nearly forgotten how to produce its own thoughts. Oh, thoughts appear and rattle around, but they’re only reactions…. reactions to someone else’s thoughts. Words from an article, a news broadcast, a tweet, a Facebook post all make me react.

But react is different than act.

My mind got to the point where it only knew how to consume someone else’s content, to recycle it.

How weak I have unknowingly become!

I’m meditating again and it feels great. 5 minutes is all I’m doing at present, but it’s enough to start. It helps me center, and makes me feel that I’m okay with whatever direction the day takes – though now I do know more clearly what I want to do with my time.

There is a comforting feeling of intentionality.

I hope to continue this morning routine when we begin our travel.

We’ll see!



Categorized as Essays