I’m an addict – notes from rehab

Hi.

My name’s Andy and I’m an addict.

As I write this, I’m in rehab trying to get my life back. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I owe it to my readers to let you know about my story – the good AND the bad.

Today was particularly rough. It was my first day in the program and I cheated. Twice. Ok, maybe more than twice. I can’t help it. Once you get hooked, you don’t realize just how much you need the stuff. One day you’re living your life, you think that you can spice things up a little, so you try it. It’s fun – just as advertised. You seem to move faster, your mind works at warp speed. It’s like you can be everywhere at once.

Then one day, you find yourself in the basement sneaking it. Or in the bathroom. Or at a wedding. What the hell? When did I become this person?

Today, my wife walked in and caught me. I felt ashamed and weak.

Tomorrow, I’ll get up and try to do better.

I’m talking about the internet, by the way.

— oh — and I’m serious. Nothing I said above is untrue. It just isn’t about drugs or alcohol.

I’ve been feeling like I’m overly scattered for some time now. I have umpteen projects started but can’t seem to get traction with any of them. I’m a writer, but I haven’t been spending much time writing. I’m a consultant and financial advisor, but I have several projects waiting for me that aren’t moving like I want them to.

Yesterday, I asked for some help. I helped my wife with a goal-setting session a few months ago and it worked wonders for her — Together, we helped her put together a list of what is important to her. She’s on track and does something from that list every day. She’s built a routine around the list, so she’s guaranteed: no matter what else happens each day, no matter how much the day goes to hell in a hand basket, she’s spent a half hour first thing in the morning getting her mind right and centering herself. I can see how it helps her.

I asked her to help me do the same thing, so now I have a list. Today was rough because I didn’t do much from the list — but at least I have one. 

To help me get started, I’ve bought Courtney Carver’s micro-course called Creating a Meaningful Morning Routine. It’s worth way more than the ten bucks Courtney charges for it, but I’m so glad it’s available.

For the next few weeks, I’ll be less available online. I’ve limited my internet access to one hour a day, plus an extra 15 minutes at the end of the day to check on any pressing emails from clients. While I’m doing that, I expect to focus mostly on writing every day, building a website that’s been dodging me, and catching up on client projects. 

It sounds kind of funny — and I’m so thankful that it isn’t drugs, alcohol, etc., but my internet habit has me good and angry with myself for not being able to control. In the meantime, I’ll be writing everything offline and then posting during my 1 hour window tomorrow.

I can do this.

I can do this.