All posts by Andy

Chaos: Ain’t it Lovely?

I recently preached this at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Eugene.

Have you ever had a day that was so bad… so frustrating that it made you question everything? You got a phone call or had an epiphany about something that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back, and suddenly you were ready to quit your job, to start a new life by driving across the country fueled by nothing more than those little powdered sugar donuts and Tic-Tacs and mountain dew?

Good. If you did, I’d be worried because that was fairly specific.

Chaos.

The word makes me uncomfortable to even say. On a few occasions, *life* has really shown up at my door – you know the way it does that sometimes…. One minute, you’re cruising along, reasonably happy, the AC works in the car, your friends and family are making good choices, you’re thinking of taking up a new hobby – maybe trombone lessons, and then in an instant, someone or something hits a giant reset button and it’s as if the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. On your heels, not knowing what to do, everything you thought you knew about how life was supposed to go turns out to be wrong.

I’ve used the word “Chaos” to describe this state… randomness, disorder, “when things fall apart.” It turns out that, strictly speaking, I was wrong.

Recently I saw an article titled, “Is the Universe Conscious?” published by NBC News. The article was triggered by an amazing paper by veteran physicist Gregory Matloff called, “Can Panpsychism become an observational science?”

This was one of those, ‘down the rabbit hole’ experiences that saw me swept up in research around astrophysics, chaos theory, and the parallels between science and religion.

Now, we’re at church and I just said the word astrophysics. This is one of my favorite parts of our faith. We get to worship while honoring our fourth Unitarian Universalist principle: “A free and responsible search for truth and meaning,” and living into one of our sources: “Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the result of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.”

My other favorite part of our faith? Proving that we’ve got it all wrong too! “…Heed the guidance of reason and the result of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.” … As if science, and mind, and spirit can’t coexist or can’t all be looking at the same thing from different angles!

It’s Chaos!

Wait…. No it isn’t … it’s what I thought chaos was…

According to Ralph Abraham, PhD, and professor of mathematics at U.C. Santa Cruz,

“The word chaos occurred for the first time in Hesiod, around 800 B.C., at the beginning of the Orphic tradition of ancient Greece. The word appeared in his Theogony, which was about the creation of the gods and goddesses one by one. The three main deities were Chaos, Gaia, and Eros.
This first time the word appeared in literature, it had nothing to do with what we now mean by chaos in the English language and in ordinary life. At that time, it meant a sort of gaping void between heaven and Earth out of which form emerged. Creation came out of chaos, but chaos did not mean disorder or anything negative; it only meant a gaping void.”

A gaping void between heaven and earth….

So, our lives sometimes descend into chaos, but chaos isn’t necessarily what we think it is…

Fast forward to a more contemporary topic: chaos theory. Currently one of the more scintillating topics at cocktail parties everywhere!

According to the non-profit Fractal Foundation, Chaos is the science of surprises, of the nonlinear and the unpredictable. It teaches us to expect the unexpected. While most traditional science deals with supposedly predictable phenomena like gravity, electricity, or chemical reactions, Chaos Theory deals with nonlinear things that are effectively impossible to predict or control, like turbulence, weather, the stock market, our brain states, and so on. These phenomena are often described by fractal mathematics, which captures the infinite complexity of nature.

This is all heady stuff. Names like Johannes Keppler, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Niels Bohr devoted careers to searching for the meaning of it all…. The one theory or answer to that oldest of questions: Where do we come from? Sure, the question looks different, depending who’s doing the asking, but this branch of science is fascinated with what I think of as a religious question… So, as an amateur theologian, I had to laugh when I read this by Astrophysicist Robert Jastrow:

“For the Scientist who has lived by faith in the power of her reason, the story ends like a bad dream. She has scaled the mountains of ignorance; and is about to conquer the highest peak; as she pulls herself over the final rock, she is greeted by a small band of theologians, who have been sitting there for centuries.”

Theologians can be quite convinced of our divine origins, you see…

So what does this mean to the person around whom their predictable, well-planned world has just been collapsed by a cancer diagnosis, or betrayal, or by violence?

One of the truths to which we are called is that we humans, while far from having all the answers, are not without hope. When we get it right––or are just plain lucky––when we come to one of life’s inflection points where everything changes in an instant, there is love.

Maybe it’s because we’ve given ourselves to this communal experience and invested in meaningful relationships with others. Maybe it’s because we’ve driven away every single friend and loved one in our lives, and yet, a stranger is there anyway- with a cup of coffee, or a napkin to wipe off the powdered sugar from all those donuts that’s now mixed with tears.

Chaos theory says, “No matter what you think, you don’t have this figured out”

Love says, “yes, and I don’t have to.”

Do you remember that NBC article, “Is the Universe Conscious?”

In it, the author cites Gregory Matloff’s paper which argues that, “humans may be like the rest of the universe in substance and in spirit.

First, the “in substance” part: Carl Sagan was fond of saying, “We are made of star stuff…. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.” Sagan was a brilliant scientist who loved making the connection between the origins of the Universe and our own origins.

Though he died in 1996, he was prescient in that statement… “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.”

Because Matloff’s paper goes on:

“A “proto-consciousness field” could extend through all of space, he argues. Stars may be thinking entities that deliberately control their paths. Put more bluntly, the entire cosmos may be self-aware.”

What would this mean? It certainly brings new life to the notion of an interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part!

If the universe itself is conscious / consciousNESS, then the divide between science and theology is an artifice. Imagine an all-pervading field of energy from which our consciousness arises, and to which it returns. This kind of metaphysical research may point us to greater knowing of the nature of existence. Carl Sagan explained that we are made of the very same hydrogen that was present at the beginning of the Universe. Imagine! You and I are made of the same basic material as the cosmos. And yet, there may be more… This field of science is just starting to entertain an idea that has been a core tenet of almost every religion we know of.

In Hinduism, Brahman is the infinite, unfathomable truth, source, and mystery from which everything springs. A tiny piece of this vast unknowable truth coalesces or condenses in each of us as we are born and is our Atman. Like one facet of a gem, Atman is simply a unique outgrowth of Brahman.

Sounds curiously similar to a universal proto-consciousness field that extends through all time and space, no?

So, got all that? There will be a test at the end of the service and you cannot leave until you pass. We have: Chaos Theory, Astrophysics, Proto-consciousness, and the Hindu notion of Brahman.

And you thought the Intern just liked to talk about God ; )

Well, in times of trouble, I often to my beloved Rumi’s words:

“I’ve said before that every craftsman
searches for what’s not there
to practice his craft.
A builder looks for the rotten hole
where the roof caved in. A water-carrier
picks the empty pot. A carpenter
stops at the house with no door.
Workers rush toward some hint
of emptiness, which they then
start to fill. Their hope, though,
is for emptiness, so don’t think
you must avoid it. It contains
what you need!
Dear soul, if you were not friends
with the vast nothing inside,
why would you always be casting your net
into it, and waiting so patiently?”

That Chaos – the vast chasm between Heaven and Earth – between knowing and not knowing can be a scary place….. and…. Let us not forget that it can be incredibly insensitive… arrogant… to presume to tell someone that the pain and confusion they may be experiencing is merely a passing thing…. that chaos is normal. In fact, what good is any of this to someone who doesn’t have enough to eat? For whom a traffic stop is a life-threatening reality? Just as we seek understanding ourselves, let us not lose human perspective.

As a people of faith, we are called to live lives that are both humble, and also centered in hope and love.

As a people of faith, grounded in our principles, we are called to be that stranger who shows up when no one else will to provide a loving and compassionate presence.

Friends, chaos describes the natural state of things. It’s not to be feared, it simply marks the transition between known and unknown. In all existence, evolution or progress or change has only happened by moving from the known into the unknown. If change is inevitable, and if change represents the only opportunity for humanity to reach its highest potential in love, and if chaos is the name for this process of birth and rebirth, then let us embrace chaos.

Change finds us, ready or not. Things fall apart. Plans change, new truths are spoken for the first time, or heard for the first time. Whatever the reason, or if there is no reason at all, there is work to be done and we are not without the tools to do that work.

There is a world to be healed and we are not without hope.

Our Universalist forbears knew that there was a single truth so powerful, so redeeming, that it overcame any threat to ever face it.
James Vila Blake said:
“Love is the spirit of this church,
And service its law.
This is our great covenant:
To dwell together in peace,
To seek the truth in love,
And to help one another.”

We may not ever get the answers we so desperately seek.
We may not ever understand why bad things happen to good people.
We may be heartbroken, but as long as we have life to live, and love to give,
May we give it.
May it reflect from us as though we were a mirror to the cosmos – sending back the life force redoubled and filled with goodwill and gratitude for what moments of beauty we each held and shared in this life.

Beloveds, the path ahead will be both bitter and sweet. May we be reminded to comfort each other and to rejoice in community.

Through the chaos, there is love.

And love calls us on.

Amīn, Ashay, and Blessed Be

Creatress

Creatress, lover, traveller and sage

You gift the world and usher an age

of healing wonder

 

Deep blessings and bows for your care

your concern

do you care for yourself?

You have nothing left to earn and still you give

from the depths of Her

pouring out blessings with unspoken words

Where are you?

Who are you?

How are you here?

My path, yours

What is this place?

Your footsteps splash dewdrops on blades of grass

in each drop, the image of the moon

that is the moon

Wondrous walker

Mighty healer

What is just beyond your grasp

I honor you and bow deeply to that which is inside me

you have just awoken

the moon

in the dewdrop that quivers with glee at the prospect of joining

the One swelling just below, just beside, just above

what wonder when we become the ocean

to birth again

…a new dewdrop

The Journey

The Journey

“From the day we set out on our journey there has been no place to seek….Student and master have never been separate, never. And yet we must journey to reunite them.” – Daijaku Judith Kinst

Who is God?

Have you ever heard – or experienced – the saying, “The only thing that’s really permanent is Change”?

That’s emblematic of this thing called Process Theology.

I won’t try to explain it, as it’s mind-bending and maddening stuff (though, show me anything someone has written about G-d that isn’t).

Suffice it to say that the first notion of this idea was with Heraclitus.

“No man ever steps into the same river twice.”

It’s been refined, changed, and argued ever since, but Alfred North Whitehead comes up more often than not when discussing it. The general gist is that everything is a process – an event, if you will, instead of a thing. (You, reading this, are not a person but an event in time).

The one line I wanted to share with you from the day’s brief overview comes from (of all things) the rock opera Hoop of Flame that was written about the subject by John Mabry and his band, Mind Furniture. In the opera, God has been put on trial because, well, you know… if I may be so bold, there’s a lot of fucked up shit that goes on, no?

Anyway, to hear John tell it, God finally gets to testify in God’s own defense and we find out that God isn’t all-powerful after all. (It turns out that in Process Theology, we’re all a part of God… sort of like the cells in our bodies are all part of us. We can take care of our body, and we can try to create the right conditions for everything to flourish, but despite our loving best intentions, shit sometimes happens, right? Cells die, organs get diseased, we get sick…)

The only thing God can do is whisper to all of existence. I think of it as intuition. What if intuition is really something more important? From the *human* end of this divine phone call, we can choose to listen to the whisper from beyond, or we can choose to have another drink – or turn Netflix back on for the 26th consecutive episode of…

So here’s God on the witness stand testifying in his own defense:

I can’t pluck planes from the sky

I…. can only whisper

I can’t stay any arms

or prevent anybody harm

If you won’t listen.

I know it’s not much help,

and I don’t mean any harm.

It’s just that the only hands I have

are at the ends of your arms.

I came here (to seminary) to find the meaning of life.
I came here (chip firmly glued to shoulder) to prove once and for all the hypocrisy of all the various images of God/god/Allah/Adonai/Buddha/Krishna/Vishnu/etc. that are in the world.

What I’m finding, instead, is a sense of commonness with all these flawed attempts to describe where it is we come from, where it is we go, and what the hell we’re supposed to be doing while we’re here. I admit to being so gloriously lost and tangled up most of the time it’s stunning.

The God that says pleadingly “…the only hands that I have are at the ends of your arms.”  

gulp.

*chip falls from shoulder*

Who are you?

The Gift

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Jelaluddin Rumi

Yes, the world hurts, but there is power in those hands of yours.

Yes, the world hurts, but there is power in those eyes of yours.

Yes, the world hurts, but there is power in that heart of yours and on those lips.

We are not helpless. We are, each and every one of us, here with a gift to share.

Even if we have broken our vows a thousand times, may we start over and share a smile with someone, use our hands to do something nice, use our eyes to actually see someone – in their eyes, and use our lips to lift someone up with a kind word instead of tearing down.

Sometimes when it seems there is too much to possibly fix, too much madness to possibly bear, remember that it’s okay to pull back in. It’s okay to not solve all the problems or block all the heartache. Sometimes all you have to offer, all I have to offer is the tiniest of gifts.

They’re not tiny. Your gift – that smile or kind word is exactly what is needed then and there. Please don’t dare keep it to yourself.

You have a unique gift that nobody else can give the world.

A gift that isn’t shared is not a gift. It is only a burden. It doesn’t become a gift until it is given.

So in the words of Rumi, ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, yet again come.

Will you share?

Mexican restaurant is a beacon in the cold & dark.
Mexican restaurant is a beacon in the cold & dark.

Religion – does it separate or unite?

Interesting fact:

By what name do 2 million Christians refer to God?

“Allah”

It’s Arabic for “the god” – or more correctly, “The God” or “THE God”.

It’s also Aramaic – the language of Jesus (“Allah”, “Elaha”, “Elaw”).

Is it not interesting how we conflate religious meaning with political & cultural meaning?

Is it even important what we call God? Is it even important that there is a God?

Here’s an article that that got me thinking about all of this. Meanwhile, I think I’ll try “Trixie” for awhile instead of God or Allah. I met her last week while on vacation with my wife and daughter. I’ll attach a picture.

You read this while I go have coffee with Trix.

All of us enjoying what Trixie hath made.
All of us enjoying what Trixie hath made.